he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
