Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
