I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
