what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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