I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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