Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
