Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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