Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
