So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
this hospital has no fireball
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sorry about my life...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
