just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
