wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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