I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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