morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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