Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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