Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Girls should come with a carfax report
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize