spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
