i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
