areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
