Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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