do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
