we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
a search helicopter?!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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