I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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