I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize