my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
