is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize