she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
