i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
