I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
