I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
