he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize