ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
