Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
