I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
