I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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