Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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