Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
