shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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