So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
love makes seman taste better
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
