remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
