she woke up with a sticky ear
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize