Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
