I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Randomize
