I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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