FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
