he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
