He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
