Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
