Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
