it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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