So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
