Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
