i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
