I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We need to rekindle our bromance
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
