do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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