so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My liver is preforming stress tests.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
