Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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