I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
