I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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