Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
