my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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