well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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