some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
