At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
