He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
