One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
