how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
