So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
