i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
